What would you create if you were free from your compulsion to compare?
Allow yourself a moment to imagine that. What might be possible. What if you were free from your compulsion to compare? What if you were free to be the full expression of who you are, without worrying about the impact on others? What if you were free to witness and revel in the divine in you, rather than the divine you worship in others? Can you picture that freedom? Us too. But the reality is far different. And frankly, we are FED UP with the reality.
- We’re fed up with witnessing the very personal attacks being levelled at women* who strive for success–our peers, colleagues, friends, clients… ourselves.
- We’re fed up with the incredible backlash we see whenever one of us dares to rise up and sing her own tune–unique and human.
- We’re fed up with watching others dim their light for fear of retaliation.
- We’re fed up with watching brilliant people defer their authority to others who appear shinier, brighter, wiser.
We’re fed up with the reality and ready to change it. So we’ve designed an antidote to the underlying disease: unconscious comparison, and the disconnection that feeds it. It’s a deep, transformative, and powerful digital program called Beyond Compare.
* Not only women, of course – but especially women.
If you are...
- Frustrated by the time you spend losing yourself in reading others’ sites in the name of inspiration or research only to wind up in the no-man’s land between envy and disdain…
- Looking to heroes and role models to show you the path to the happiness you seek…
- Holding big ambitions, but fearing the consequences of becoming more visible: judgment, criticism, or just the projections from those you want to connect with…
- Feeling fear or disappointment about losing your connection when someone you adore becomes wildly successful…
- In a love-hate spiral with social media…
- Finding yourself playing small, when you deeply desire to play big…
…then the Beyond Compare program is absolutely for you.
This program really illustrated the depth of comparison and all the forms it takes. You’ve done an outstanding job of breaking it down into both the inflation and deflation aspects of ego.
What I know to be possible Beyond Compare is the pure expression of this soul coming through me… as well as a genuine joy in watching others shine and express their gifts in the world. Beyond compare I can live knowing that each of us has a unique expression in the world and the expression of this uniqueness is necessary for each of us to be awake to our wholeness. It is wholeness that will create a more just, peaceful, and loving world.Julie Daley
When I stop comparing, I can make room to experience my own sovereignty and finally get past the “ceiling” that I’ve unknowingly created for myself.Sarah Bray
So, how is comparison compulsion holding you back?
When we’re stuck in the comparison loop, not only do we find ourselves thinking – and often, expressing – bitter, unkind thoughts towards ourselves and others, but we succumb to a series of mental habits that hold us back in a myriad of ways:
- Focusing on the gap between your insides and others’ outsides;
- Losing focus on what you’re here to do;
- Feeling li ke an outsider: alone, disconnected, alienated;
- Succumbing to a scarcity mentality;
- Projecting your desires onto others, rather than going after them yourself;
- Passing up opportunities, or holding yourself back, for fear of being the target of other people’s projections and criticism.
These habits have an impact, whether we’re looking up to someone as a model of achievement or perfection, or looking down on them as a failure or cautionary tale. It’s the distance we put between ourselves and others that’s the culprit: the stories we tell ourselves about what their successes (or flaws) mean, and what that means for our own journeys.
Beyond Compare ushers you onto sacred ground, to be sure; maybe even where angels fear to tread. This program will guide you into a transparent and transformed way of being. With Tanya and Lauren by your side you can have complete faith that you will be strengthened, supported, and powerfully changed.Ronna Detrick
Replacing Judgment with Discernment
This isn’t about erasing differences or ditching your capacity for critical thought. It’s about putting criticism in its place – in fact, it’s about expanding its place by making room for a more subtle understanding of the world and the people in it. We aren’t holding a Kumbaya circle here. There is a healthy expression of the instinct to compare: it’s called boundaries. What needs to go is our culture’s toxic obsession with fostering competitiveness between people…the zero-sum game we buy into, that says one person’s success means another’s failure. If we want the world to change and evolve beyond simplistic definitions of success, beauty, and the like, we need to start here: by exploring the qualities you admire and scorn in others, and the disowned aspects of you they represent. By amplifying your compassion towards yourself and others – and in the process, stepping into your own power more fully. By understanding where your own lofty expectations of yourself may be, paradoxically, holding you back. And by integrating, owning, and taking full responsibility for your deepest aspirations.
This powerful course teaches what we know we’re supposed to do about comparison, but don’t follow through on. Beyond Compare breaks the standard ‘stop comparing’ advice down into accessible and achievable practices to build confidence and skills.Paul Jarvis
Through Beyond Compare, you can expect to…
- Locate the source of your impulse to compare and defer to your peers and heroes – and learn to use those energies with more clarity of intention.
- Find ways to transform your impulse to compare into healthier, more generous, and joyful expressions.
- Liberate yourself from the habit of projecting your desires and fears onto others.
- Dissolve your fears about stepping into your greatness and having others’ projections foisted onto you.
- Become your own ultimate authority.
Bottom line, you will:
- Regain a ton of time and energy.
- Follow your unique path (rather than someone else’s).
- Stay focused on your good work.
- Which means? You are free to focus on what you want. Like, in your wildest dreams.
Free yourself from the stronghold of comparison. Your best work awaits.
I can’t imagine more trustworthy guides for this healing exploration than Tanya and Lauren. They bring together intelligence, intuition and integrity so naturally that you will find yourself resting in their wisdom, leaping from their insights and energized by their passion.Lianne Raymond
The Digital Program
7 program sessions on understanding
why you compare and rewriting
Engaging, interactive exercises
in a beautiful, editable, and
Bonus: The Workbook for Groups
A special guide to walk you through setting up a partnership or group, should you decide to do Beyond Compare with others. Includes a sample we lcome letter, group agreements, guidelines to consider, and questions designed to lead your group discussions.
Come closer. These videos are intimate, thoughtful, and made with love. Two per session, plus one to welcome you in. Plus transcripts for all videos.
7 Audio Visualizations
Narrated by Lauren and Tanya, these visualizations allow you to tune in to your inner knowing. (Transcripts included too.)
5 Video Interviews
Bonus: Interviews with Amy Palko, Sarah Bray, Ronna Detrick, Paul Jarvis and Julie Daley.
The Breathing Room
Exercises and resources to ground yourself, strengthen your inner “core muscles,” and keep your tank full.
8 Audio Meditations
Bonus: 8 meditations from our friends at Buddhify, to help you practice kindness to self and others.
Email Inspiration (optional)
Deepen your learning with email nudges tailored to your pace. (Totally optional, of course.)
Why Tanya and Lauren?
This program is itself an expression of what is possible when we let go of our compulsion to compare and choose to collaborate instead. Both of our bodies of work have led us to dive deep into the Impostor Complex. And we both came to the bottom of the well at the same time and discovered this truth: when we lose ourselves in the maelstrom of comparison, bad things happen. To ourselves, to the people we are projecting onto, to our greatness, and to our success. As leadership coaches, we know what we stand to gain, collectively, when we put down our arms and raise one another up.
Tanya is a certified Life and Business Coach (CPCC, ACC) with a penchant for clarity. She’s coached hundreds of people who were ready to step into the starring roles of their lives. She wrote The Joy Pages, created Board of Your Life and the Step into Your Starring Role program, is a blogger for the wildly popular The Daily Love, has served as contributor and was featured in Canadian Living, and is an in-demand speaker who talks with great passion on all things joy, meaning, and purpose (just try to stop her). She recently spoke about the Impostor Complex at TEDxWomen.
Lauren BaconLauren is on a mission to help business leaders become more joyful and generous. A seasoned entrepreneur, published author, and business and leadership coach, Lauren coaches startups, entrepreneurs, and leaders of all stripes. Her writing on business, technology, and leadership has been featured in The Atlantic, 99U, Women 2.0, Quartz, The Huffington Post, and Fast Company – and her bestselling first book, The Boss of You: Everything a Woman Needs to Know to Start, Run, and Maintain Her Business, got props from both Bust Magazine and The Financial Post. Lauren’s e-book, Curious for a Living: How Asking Better Questions Makes You Indispensable, launched in November 2013.
The combined wisdom of the two of you is going to shift tectonic plates. This is going to be substance served up right. I’m excited for you – and the paradigms you’re about to bust for people.Danielle LaPorte
Frequently Asked Questions
What technology do I need to access the course content?
- A computer, tablet or smart phone with an internet connection (to access the initial downloads)
- The ability to view PDFs
- To listen to the audio recordings, you’ll need some way of listening to MP3s. (Most web browsers can do this just fine, or you can use iTunes or something similar.)
- To view the videos, you’ll need a device that can view videos on YouTube. (Here’s one to test with.)
That’s it! There’s no software to install or anything. It’s all quite simple.
How long does it take to complete the program?
Your timing will vary, but we originally conceived Beyond Compare as an 8-week program; there’s about 2-3 hours per week of content and exercises if you choose to do everything, but if that feels like more than you can commit to, we encourage you to move through at your own pace and to choose the exercises that call to you most strongly.
Why does the program include a workbook for groups? Can I do it alone?
Absolutely – Beyond Compare is designed to be totally self-contained. But we know many of you prefer to work in partnerships and groups, so we’ve included The Workbook for Groups, which includes guidance on how to set up a partnership or group – including a sample welcome message, agreements, and guidelines – as well as questions you can use in your group discussions. Sort of like a book club guide, but more robust. We believe that doing this work with a partner or group will enrich the experience for many people – after all, this is a program about transforming your relationships with others as well as with yourself – and that’s why we’ve included The Workbook for Groups as part of the package.
I’d like to do this with someone else but I’m not sure who to ask.
This can be vulnerable stuff, for sure, but in our experience, anyone else who wants to shift their relationship with comparison – and who’s willing to commit to your ‘book club’ – can be a good fit. Remember: they’re here to work on their stuff, not to judge you on yours – and working on comparison with a partner is a fast-track to self-awareness and mutual support. One place to look for a partner is in the Beyond Compare Facebook group.
Do you offer refunds?
No, but if you’re unhappy with the program, we will happily grant you permission to pass your copy along to someone else who might enjoy it.
What happened to the group version of the program you were offering before?
What kind of support can I expect while doing the program?
This will vary depending on whether you choose to work on your own or with a group, of course, but whichever option you choose, you can expect to receive regular email nudges from us with tips and encouragement (and you can set the pacing for these to suit your timing). And the Facebook group is always there for sharing your insights, asking questions, and practicing a new way of being with yourself and others. We (Tanya & Lauren) will be active in the Facebook group as well, so you’re welcome to ask us questions there. If you have technical questions, of course, we will do our best to help with those, too.
Still have questions?
Email our tech maven Arwyn at arwyn [at] tanyageisler [dot] com and she’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.
I am stunned by how (1) easy (2) clean (3) thorough (4) beautiful and (5) did I mention easy? this program, purchase & download process was. I am just so impressed by the richness, depth, intellectual rigor, deep and broad wisdom, vulnerability, heart-full-ness, beauty, loveliness and value (monetary and otherwise) here.
I also think it’s kind of, well, ironic and humorous. Because while you may not realize it just yet, I think you have just set the bar way higher for your colleagues in these kinds of offerings. So, they will probably be, ahem, comparing themselves to you.Patti F.
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